he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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