North Korea, Best Korea!
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
