non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Who put my cat in the fridge?
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
