Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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