Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
