Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
