I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
