Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
