This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
