Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Randomize
