the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
