yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize