God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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