party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
