Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
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