if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
