I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
Randomize
