when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
