Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Randomize
