woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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