I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
