Porn is love you can see.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
