I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
