btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
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