could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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