I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
