well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
