I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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