I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
