so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
