you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
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