addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
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