Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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