The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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