Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
