Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
