either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
