What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Never underestimate the power of titties
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
