weddingsv make me drug and hornr
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
