"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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