he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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