Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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