Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
