I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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