he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
