If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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