this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
birth control should be required to get into college
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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