Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Randomize
