when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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