Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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