So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
