Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
