I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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