And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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