so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
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