i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
false alarm, still single
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
