Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
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