gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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