Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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