i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
