Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
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