Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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