I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
